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Emperor Zhark - Agent Profile



Employee Name: Emperor Zhark
Employee No.: n/a, on loan from Jurisfiction

SEX: Male
DATE OF BIRTH: July 22, 1969
WEIGHT: 160
EYE COLOUR: Black
HAIR COLOUR: Black
SPECIES: Fictional
ADDRESS: The Great Library, Science Fiction, Floor 14, Shelf 169, "Zharkian Empire" series; or please contact Jurisfiction via Thursday Next
NATIONAL INSURANCE NUMBER: n/a
MEDICAL CONDITIONS: Completely fictional, lacks ability for great foresight and is unable to deviate from written personality of enjoying having the power of life or death over a billion godless heathens.

Personal Statement:
I think I should take a wife. What fun is enslaving millions of people without having someone to share it with? And why have the heathens been rebelling lately? I graciously spared a few thousand as slaves to erect a colossal statue of myself in their city square, and how do they repay my kindness? They turn against me!
Inferiors have no sense of humour.

SECURITY CLEARANCE: high
ROLE: Field agent; consultant on alien races, invasion strategy and world obliterating weaponry.
FAVOURITE FOOD: Battenberg

NOTES FROM 90 DAY PROBATION PERIOD:

Went to lunch with Thursday and Mrs Tiggy-Winkle. Talked of recent sighting of the Minotaur. Was possibly mocked by waitress, though am under impression would make good wife candidate.

Investigated grammasite in Twilight series, character permanently damaged and now sparkles in sunlight.

Went on assignment to the Real World with Thursday and Marianne Dashwood to recover laser cannons nicked by Microsoft Corporation. Mission was successful.

Have been contacted by Torchwood and have agreed to work as liaison between the agency and the BookWorld SF police.

On leave from Jurisfiction until further notice. Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle reassigned to Richard Mayhew.

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